Authenticity - The Truth

If you are not being truly authentic with your partner, then you may want to question why. Suppressing your honest self can be detrimental and a function of fear. So fearlessly love yourself enough to know that your quirks are just as beautiful as your strengths. And you should not be the only person in the relationship who appreciates them.

The definition of authentic is being real, not copied, or genuine. The purpose in all of our relationships is to be able to express ourselves honestly. You also have to take responsibility for your own responses and perceptions. For example, you may have a brother who is very kind, but only allows outsiders in so far to his inner emotional circle. Every time he meets someone new, and they become friends, the friendship is based on an understanding that this is how he operates. If one of his friends decides that his behavior makes them uncomfortable, then they can choose to walk away or remain and change their understanding. This is always true when we develop relationships with family, friends, peers, and intimate ones.  

The responsibility comes with the choices we make. Relating to others is not easy. It can sometimes be complex and beautiful simultaneously. We all choose how we will be or not be with another person. The choices we make on purpose are more important than our flaws and quirks. You meet a fellow artist at a party. You quickly become fast friends and realize that you have much in common. A month later the facades are removed, and you both begin to reveal more of yourselves to each other. Soon something happens that either hurts your feelings, or makes you question the value of the friendship. If you decide to continue being a friend to the person, then you should continue on that path without resentment with a clear understanding that you are responsible for your half of the relationship, and unable to change the other person.

This is a call for all of us to embrace who we truly are. Love ourselves through honest eyes, and never be afraid to dump our unnecessary baggage for a better you. Shit will not become Prada simply because you put some love and understanding on it. It’s still shit getting in the way of you realizing your greatest potential.

Tips to be authentic:

·         Listen and be observant

·         Be honest with yourself and others

·         Try your best

·         Do not make decisions based on fear

·         Recognize the difference between nonconstructive criticisms and insults

How Love can transform you...

Love is not malicious or manipulative. It gives one the courage to be honest, and it does not attempt to take advantage of someone.  All of our relationships create the canvas of any given society or community.  The small everyday relationships are microcosms of the whole. When we turn on the news and the top headlines are full of death, violence, and abuse then that demonstrates a failure in our ability to love one another. I realize that the American term love is overused and sometimes oversimplified because we only have one word to mean multiple things. It describes the emotion between a mother and a child, two lovers, a tasty dessert, an amazing play, a heartfelt poem, or a passionate song. We can use the word love to describe our feelings for all the above.

                

This entry addresses the love that Desmond Tutu utilized to transform the effects of apartheid on South Africa.  “We may be surprised at the people we find in heaven. God has a soft spot for sinners. His standards are quite low” (Tutu).  This takes me to the next point about forgiveness. Many of us are walking around with such heavy burdens from past hurt and disappointment that we refuse to love or simply find ourselves unable to.  All of us try our best including those who have wronged us. We owe it to ourselves to acknowledge the pain, forgive ourselves and our oppressors, and attempt to move on by sharing love one day at a time. War and revenge provide nothing but more pain, and devastation. It is easy to love when things are going swell, but the challenge is to find love when things are difficult and mired in fear. That is when true healing can begin, and we can begin to live more fully and openly.

               

“Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth” (Don Miguel Ruiz).