Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Loving Me First

I have been pondering a new revelation. I am no good to those I love and care about when I stop loving me first. It seems so selfish to love yourself before anyone else, but it is necessary. I find that my temper is short, my willingness to meet up is low, and my patience is nonexistent. I have spent half a lifetime worrying and being there for others. It is now time to take my own advice and be there for me. I will make be a much better mommy, friend, daughter, cousin, niece, and partner.

This is not a mini vacation from life. This will become my new life's mantra. Remembering what it feels like to feel love all over is my new quest. I want to be okay if I don't pick up the phone or respond to a thousand emails. It is okay to say no. That will be a challenge, but I am up for it. Saying no leaves more space for me to say yes to Tamara. Yes, Tamara you can sleep in. Yes, Tamara you do not have to run all over the city for everyone else. Yes, Tamara you can read a ton of books and not answer the phone for 24 hours. And yes, if you are loved by those who always say they do, they will understand those gentle no's mean them no harm or less love.

This is my decade to embrace a new philosophy. One, I am always sharing with my quirky and enlightening FB posts. This time I am taking my own advice and making sure that I love me first. I am like an ocean, I have boundless emotions and dreams. Many of them have begun to manifest and many more are taking shape. All will be in vain if my love tank is empty and filled with bitterness. So I am preparing myself by filling up on love, hope, joy, and peace. This can only be accomplished in the silence of solitude and meditation. I am ready to embrace and love me so that I can in turn love others more and enjoy the bounty of my new season.